


Four Times the Girls Went on Vacation (and One Time They Stayed Home)

by Missy



Category: Golden Girls
Genre: 5 Times, Female Friendship, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Travel, Vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-18
Updated: 2015-06-18
Packaged: 2018-04-05 00:23:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4158558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just what it says on the tin!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four Times the Girls Went on Vacation (and One Time They Stayed Home)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Merfilly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merfilly/gifts).



****

 

1:  
**The Ski Lodge**  


 

 

“Ma,” Dorothy scolded, reaching for her mother’s hand as Sophia reached for a large can of whipped cream, “not so much whipped cream, you know it gives you gas.”

“Dorothy, we’re on vacation – lemme live a little, eh?” she then proceeded to squirt an enormous dollop of the stuff onto her hot chocolate. It was enough to make Dorothy abandon her own plate of decadent desserts to prevent her mother’s overdosing on creamy whipped goods.

“Oh, wouldya give me that?” she said, trying to pull the can out of her mother’s surprisingly strong grip. Sophia frowned, but placed the can back onto the buffet table, then headed for the safety of the lobby, where Rose and Blanche were already huddled by the fire. 

Dorothy followed soon after with a small pile of food for each woman. Blanche eyed her meal with suspicion. “Is there broccoli in this?”

“I don’t believe so,” Dorothy said.

“Broccoli gets in my teeth and I simply cannot let Hans see me with broccoli in my teeth!” she said, and started desiccating the salad anyway.

“Please Blanche, the last thing Hans will be looking at are your teeth.” Dorothy said.

Rose, meanwhile, seemed to positively glow at the sight of the heavy storm blowing around outside. “This takes me back to my childhood in Saint Olaf.”

Sophia glanced heavenward. “Would an avalanche be too much to ask for?”

Rose continued, “Oh, we loved snow so much. In fact the most popular man in town was Johan Adelhammer, the town snow plow owner.” Rose smiled nostalgically. “Every winter you’d see him riding around town, with his big top hat and his coat made of one hundred dollar bills.” Her brow knit and she added, “as a matter of fact I don’t remember ever seeing him look unhappy.”

“Why would he be?” Dorothy asked. “He had the life savings of every farmer in the town in his pocket!”

“That’s not fair,” insisted Rose. “He helped a lot of people out! He built Saint Olaf’s first bank, the Slush Fund of Saint Olaf….and come to think of it, nobody’s seen him for a few years now. But I’m sure he’s fine!” 

The other girls groaned and Sophia snorted. “Stop worrying about my stomach and start worrying about her brain!” she said to Dorothy.

“I can worry about three things at once,” said Dorothy. “And right now I’m worried about that snow. You’ve all got to admit, it’s falling pretty heavily out there.”

“Isn’t it just our luck?” Blanche lamented, “We traveled all the way to Colorado and ended up stuck inside the lodge because of a blizzard.”

“Eh, it could be worse,” Sophia pointed out. She reached into her purse and set out a deck of cards, shuffling them together quickly. 

“Whatt’re you suggesting?” Dorothy asked. 

“I’m suggesting,” said Sophia, “that I deal and the rest of you start gossiping about the way Hans looks in a tight pair of pants!”

Even though Blanche balked at the idea of the group gossiping about her ski instructor flame, they soon settled in for a warm round of food, chatting, buffet table cheesecake and gin. By the time the plows came through they were all laughing as if they’d never known misery.

 

 

**2:  
The Camping Trip**

 

 

This is Rose’s idea, and they’re never going to let her forget it. She’d been positively insistent about using her wilderness scout training, heading out into the dark deep woods of Georgia and enjoying a weekend with her favorite friends.

Of course Blanche brought twelve pounds of luggage. Of course, Sophia snuck a portable TV into their tent. Of course, Dorothy lost her temper with both of them and Rose had stomped off to prove that she could find her way to safety. Of course, Rose got them lost during a scenic nature hike that ended with the four of them begging mercy from a Jellystone Campground.

And yet it wasn’t as miserable a time as it could have been. For all the arguing and all of the complaining, in the end they found themselves playing charades, eating toasted marshmallows and laughing over their foibles.

 

 

**3:  
France**

 

 

Blanche learned exactly three French phrases before they touched down; ‘hello, handsome’, ‘how many francs for that dress?’ and ‘I swear, I didn’t know he was married!’

Rose got by with a big grin and a nod or two; ‘uh huh’ will get you everywhere when all you want to do is play with French dogs, eat croissants and buy fancy chocolate for the folks back home. 

And Sophia? Well, _she_ voted for a trip to Italy – she was sitting out the whole linguistic mess, glaring stonily ahead and occasionally biting her thumb at dozens of rude cabdrivers and waiters who attended them.

Clearly, it would be up to Dorothy to keep the whole lot of them from ending up lost and confused. Her French was letter perfect but her accent is awful, and it eventually resulted in them missing their flight home. Thankfully, Rose still had as surplus of chocolate, and Blanche had a story about a handsome go-go dancer she nearly seduced in the lobby of the Louvre. Before they knew it, they were on the next flight home, their mutual struggle completely forgotten.

 

 

**4:  
New York**

 

 

Sophia leaned against the ship’s railing, inhaling the somewhat acrid scent of New York harbor. Beside her, Dorothy watched the sunset in quiet contemplation.

“It’s really something, Ma,” she said. 

“I know,” Sophia replied. “Your grandfather said so when we pulled into Ellis Island.”

“Really?” Dorothy wondered. “Did he say anything else?”

“Nah,” Sophia replied. “My mother was too busy hitting him upside the head with her purse for looking down Mary Tagliano’s cleavage.”

Blanche sashayed her way up to them, trailing a very tall man with a pug nose and deep dark bedroom eyes. “Girls, this is Erik,” she said.

The man grinned. “Hello,” he said. Then, as softly as he could, he whispered to Blanche, “are these your ‘old friends’?” he wondered.

Blanche laughed nervously. “My BEST friends,” she corrected. “I’m going to be heading downstairs and show Erik around.”

“The only thing down there is a restroom,” Dorothy said.

“With doors that lock,” Blanche grinned, leading Erik away. “Bye bye.”

Dorothy sighed. “I don’t know how she does it. It must be genetic.”

“Or hormonal,” added Blanche. “She could find something in pants in a nunnery!”

At least they didn’t have that problem with Rose. She was sitting nearby with a pigeon, having a soothing, animated conversation with it.

Thankfully, a real New York cheesecake and a view of Central Park did wonders to soothe their disparate feelings.

 

 

**5:  
Home**

 

 

They were supposed to go on a picnic with Rick, Don, Joe and Dave. At this very moment all four of them should be wining and dined by their handsome swains, but that wouldn’t be, for Miami was suffering one of its torrential downpours and each man in succession had called to cancel their picnic plans.

Blanche peered through the kitchen blind. “My, it’s pourin’ out there.”

“I guess it wouldn’t be smart to go out and get a video,” added Dorothy.

“You’d catch your death,” agreed Rose.

After a moment’s thought, Sophia said, “The new Burt Reynolds movie is starting in ten minutes on Cinemax.”

“I’ll get the ice cream,” said Blanche.

“I’ll get the cheesecake,” said Rose.

“I’ll get the screwdriver,” said Dorothy. “The last time we tried to watch Cinemax together the signal was so staticy I thought Farrah Fawcett was Bert Parks!”

And so they went on like that, bonded together, their friendship stronger than their differences and their love stronger than their arguments.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you enjoyed this one, Merfilly! Love the Girls, love writing about the Girls, and your prompt was completely irresistible!


End file.
